The Day i knew i was getting old...

No it was not my birthday today, its not until April; nor was it the New years. It was just a normal day, another Wednesday in my clockwork of a life. Until number of random incidents kept reinforcing the fact that i was other side of the generation gap. It started when in the gym owner of this not so chiseled body strikes a conversation "my trainer does not understand that people our age cannot workout like those young folks", I looked around and it was just the two of us at the lockers. I just screamed in my head  'our age!'. Drive back was an uncomfortable silence i shared with my mind, i did not want to discuss it.

It was all forgotten until my chat with a school friend went  down this road -
I :"so what is your ex girlfriend from school up to, you guys in touch"
Friend: " Yeah she is married and has become fat"
Friend:"You know where your high school love is"
I: "No clue, you would know; you guys were thick as thieves"
F: " well he has a three year old son :)"
What the hell! I threw a baby shower for friends two days back, What is it? Babies are taking over the world? Is this a planned invasion or is the biological clock ticking away for everyone around me.
It was not even noon when i was heading back for lunch, these school kids on a bike zipped past me, and in my head i said out loud "these kids are so reckless!" and i heard myself. This time i had a lump in my throat, i was almost on the brink of this realization but i cranked up the volume and put my foot on the gas.
Then came the cruel hand of memory which yanked me out of my oblivion. When a mail popped up with subject line reading "Valentines day offer on all luxury brands". I fell from the cloud above with a thud. I had forgotten that tomorrow is valentine's day! I was not only on my way down the hill i was rolling towards the bottom quite fast. The day yes twenty nothings plan ahead months in advance, the day in teen years is the judgement day, I myself have flown from south to west of this country for this day and only for a day. Well i had no recall or even a clue that it was the same month. I realized i have turned old, like how milk turn sour.
Well i can only console and tell myself that it is ok to be old, life only gets better like a good wine from now on. But the saddest part is that instead of tequilla i think of wine; instead of handcuffs i think of cufflinks.
Oh God why me, why us! ~ yes i am quoting from friends; one more reason that i should soon get that 'anti age cream'.

Flaming STRIPES -02

We were off to the National Park on the bumpy road. It was chilly, even my climate cheater was not helping but i was ignoring the cold and hunger pangs for what was ahead. This time after the series of procedures we were off to a different zone Zone four. Ranthambore is divided into five zones; Zones are assigned randomly and so are the guides.There are high chances that u can get the same zone more than once so blame it on your luck. Well we were excited to get into this zone particularly as there had been many easy spottings in this zone.

As we entered the zone it was very different from the previous one it was hard to believe that they were both parts of same jungle; there were vast bodies of water and golden colored grass patches it was beautiful. Also the morning light was spelling its magic. Also our guide was quite optimistic and he kept saying " lets not stop to click wild boars and peacocks; lets go for the tiger!" I had a good feeling instantly! Terrain was much smoother than the back breaking one in zone one. I was admiring the landscape views and copying it in my head so that i remember to click them on my way back as my hands were too cold to even hold my camera.

After a while we saw two canters holding up the way and the guide started to whisper "they are waiting for something" It was exciting we huddled with them and the guide on other vehicle said "Machli is lying down in the bush". I went like wow Machli!! the most photographed and oldest tigress that would be legendary to watch her. we were waiting with baited breath any movement, any noise, any rustle all eyes would dart in that direction, necks would crank. No one was in there seats anymore i was perched precariously on the side bar of the canter to just get a better view. It was so exciting we were in the middle of this huge jungle just couple of meters away from a napping tiger. Then we heard some footsteps and i turned about and looked down; no no it was not a tiger but a forest officer called Nepalji who was leisurely walking along the well trodden path. He shoted out "O Bhai Ganesh kiska intezaar kar rahe ho?? " our guide told him that Machli just went behind the bush and is sitting there. Nepalji gave out a whistle and said "Bhai log aage jao ab woh nahin uthegi" in his haryanvi or rajasthani accent it was hard to place it; he was confident Machali would take at least an hour to come out as it was her siesta time.

We took off again disappointed, five minutes on the road ahead a gypsy was on its way back they stopped and said that they spotted a tiger ahead. Our driver put his feet to the floor; after few minutes we saw a fork in the road, our driver and guide were contemplating which side to go when another canter came from left and the guide shouted that T -17 has crossed over from zone three to this zone. With their superior sense of the jungle our guide told the driver to swerve the canter to the right. Suddenly the terrain had changed there were trees and treachrous road like zone one; few minutes on the road the canter before us braked our driver braked too and i glanced to the left. I could see the stripes in the trees i knew it was there. I couldnt believe i was seeing a tiger. It was walking straight and i was trying hard not to blink or else i will miss it ; But then it digressed and came right out of the bush like right out walking towards our canter i was on the very same side. The very air was charged adrenaline running high, hearts were beating fast and loud and for some had momentarily stopped beating, my friend had to be gagged so that she could stop shrieking with excitement and drive the tiger away. It was a two year old tigress, one of the few collared tigers in the jungle. She walked with such grace she held all of our eyes. She leisurely walked onto the the road and started walking ahead of us.I did not know should i click or take it all in; i did not want to miss even a single nano second of this.

It is the most magnificient creature i have ever seen and i was instantly in love; It just crossed my mind that if there was one species we can save, tigers should be it; what a shame it would be to let them pass in the oblivion and in the world of legends, stories and coffee table books.

T -17 walked as if she owned the place and we were just there, she had every human soul in the vicinity tied to her at that moment. She was not at all perturbed by the presence of the monster like vehicles and helpless creatures on top of it. Our guide started reversing when all of us piled on to him telling him to follow her like the other canter did, but he said No point blankly and told us that "aapne tiger dekh liya na ab usse pareshaan na kijiye" as soon as i heard his concern for T -17 i kept quite and agreed we did not have to act like the paparazzi.

I was dazed i couldnt get over the fact i saw a tiger in wild those few minutes are finely etched in my memory with all the intricate details.

We were smiling all the way back; i saw baby crocs, clicked landscapes but my mind kept going back to T -17.

It was a one of those memorable first times; back in the room we three kept talking about the experience and what was going on in our minds. Well we were lucky to spot one tiger but not super lucky to spot one in our next safari but no regrets and complains as we had seen a tiger in the wild.

It is not just about the tiger we have seen them in zoos, on Nat Geo and discovery but to see them in their realm, in their element is an experience worth having at least once in a life time. But i ain't stopping at this i am insatiable now i am already planning my next tiger safari.

Flaming STRIPES - 01

I struck off one from my bucket list "Spotting a tiger in the wild". I had read lot of people describing the tryst with this magnificent and enchanting creature; but experiencing it in life was very surreal almost movie like. So let me tell you the story of T 17 my first tiger.

I took a train to Sawai Madhopur with two of my great friends; days of meticulous planning and complex coordination had gone into making this possible, we were finally off to the much awaited trip. My chat history is a digital evidence that how much pressure was Ranthambore forest under to match up to our high expectations.

We reached Sawai Madhopur station right on time after being ditched by our appointed pick up; we reached our abode lugged in a garishly decked up auto rickshaw. As soon we touched base it was time for our first safari; we rushed through our lunch and just jumped into the open air canter. Canter is a mini topless truck with some ten uncomfortable seats on both sides of an aisle. The most coveted seats are generally taken by first pick ups. Ok so after picking others we were at the entrance of Ranthambore National Park. The security was well deserved after all we were standing just outside the home grounds of one of the sort after and so called protected species.

After a round of form filling, identification and attendance one of each we entered the park. The sun was on its way down and was gleaming in our eyes but once we got on the road to the innards of the forest the trees had cut the heat off and there was a sudden change in the weather and the noise levels. there was a rock fortress just at the entrance and was flanked by a water tank with a board saying dont swim and a crocodiles' picture was painted. Now the very knowledge that there were crocs a few feet away resting in the lair was exciting. As we had just entered 'zone one' we could see the rising rock face staring down at us. Our guide was telling us how many predators like leopards and hyenas being shy in nature keep to the hills .My adrenaline was beginning to pump when our guide said " look there a Marsh Crocodile" i was so excited! my first crocodile in its natural habitat, it was many feet away but i could see the grainy grey textured skin on the muddy side of a pond. I was still taking it in when we moved on.

We photographed deers, antelopes, neel gai, a dead snake and other not so dangerous creatures and only easily seen ones.

I was hallucinating stripes in every "Tiger must come here" kind of spot it dawned upon me what exactly happens to travelers in a desert. Though this first safari was disappointing for many fellow canterers as we did not spot any Big Cat but for me, i was still reeling under the excitement of being in a real jungle.

This was few of those nights when i was waiting for sun to rise before time. Our next safari was at six in the morning; it was chilly and thanks to my friend's references i was in woolies and prepared or so i thought. This time we were better prepared for the safari we were waiting for our canter much in advance to get coveted spots and had remembered to bring along water. - cont

Thank You Life and Your Strange ways!

So when I heard Steve Jobs saying that "You will be able to join the dots in the end!" the cynicism in me kicked in and i said to myself in my head "Yeah right when you get it all right in the end you damn well can join the dots!". But over a period of time going through the paved ways, trudging through the murky thick times, sailing right under the sunny skies and going over the small bumps i totally agree with Mr. Jobbs as i do with his technology; Life surely has a plan to make sense out of your story.

The theory of butterfly flapping wings to start a tornado; i have no written or read proofs for why these disasters happen or what triggers it. Which of the winged species caused the Irene or which animal got into whom to cast a holocaust. But from my insignificant life compared to the mother nature i have started to believe that every incident and circumstance has a time, place and the reason. I am still not sure that if its a balanced equation or a chain reaction but surely there are these series of events which would rationalize every irrational happening in the end.

Every tough time i went through has gifted me a true friend, every bad boss hass given me a better opportunity, every difficult place has provided me my anchors and every lost way has given a new breath to my life!

So raise your glasses dears and dearies to The Life and its unseen twists and turns!

Painfully Beautiful

I love a cloudy day, I love when the grey engulfs and swallows all of the bright and chirpy blue. I peer out my window many times at night and love watching the eerie and enigmatic street, which becomes so trifling in the morning with no identity of its own. Stories with wicked twists and dark characters enchant, there is a lure to know more about the uncanny side, the diabolic dimension and we want more of those noxious emotions they trigger. What is so seducing about the melancholy?

What is so beautiful about the pain that not only inspires poets to write heart wrenching verses, writers to author profound literature, painters to paint the deep; masterpieces for blessed souls who would posses them for generations to come.
It is not only the artist but the audience equally spell bound with the pain or else why do many acclaimed movies leave us with a sinking feeling, why do the most legendary songs claim tears, why do books with uninhibited pain leave us clutching to the paperback for a long time?Why is dark so beautiful and intriguing?

Maybe as this beauty is born out of human imagination belonging to the deep recesses of human mind; where lies the pain of past, struggles of life, and miseries borrowed.I believe because pain is the only emotion which in real sense makes us feel alive; i does make us feel human at many levels more than any other emotion is capable of, there – lies its beauty...
What do you feel how beautiful is pain?

No Regrets

“Jumpppppp!!!! We are in Queeeee!!!!” and then all I remember is my heart flipping and my feet plunging, my body following into the depths of chlorinated blue green waters of the swimming pool. I came out and heard the lifeguard scream out to me to clear the area for the next guy waiting to jump from the highest board of the Olympic size swimming facility. I had done it! Blurry eyed I looked around and saw the nodding and smiles which I took it for granted were for my great fall. I was thirteen and I had conquered one of my biggest fears of my childhood. It took me five times of standing in the queue peering down and taking stairs back. Though I still have butterflies in my stomach and a vertigo to think about the breezy summer evening when I was shivering on the concrete edge just entering my teens and ready to face my worst fears of those days. Knowing it would not kill me something inside me always used to pull me back, can’t place a finger on that feeling though it would be a common one. Bungee jumping is my new found fear factor where I imagine myself quivering and clawing against the cobwebs of indescribable emotions while plunging into the unknown rendering myself to the strength of the mere harness. It is a very metaphorical way of looking at many situations in life. There are so many times I have peered into unknown , calculated, assessed, reassessed, exhausted all mental faculty to decide and then just taken the plunge leaving it to that something that will save my soul and will get me back upright unscathed. Lot of people think impulse and the rush are a fool’s way. But who has seen beyond and who has guaranteed the exact rewards. But after you have taken the plunge you would have experienced the raw emotions you had no clue you in your human form could feel. But if you walk back go down the steps to cover every ladder rung would feel tiring and you would be weighed down with regret. How many times would you make it to places you have an option to plunge or how many times you would get to that height where you can dive down to the unknowns. Well my epitaph will read “No Regrets” so I am going to ride the scariest roller coaster, see the tiger in the wild, dive into the deepest seas and yes I am going to jump with my both feet in it.

True Under Dog Story -1

Spotty was a good looking, agile Dalmatian and was a favourite in his lane. He had friends who loved hanging out with him and his family who always wished well for him. He had a smiling face and a smiling outlook towards life. Spotty was doing well for himself, he had a dedicated room in the blue and red king kennel and also his own white and black bowl. It was a good life morning walk, chasing the mailman and milkman, noon siestas, training under Uncle Bruno, games in the moonlight in the park and his mother, but he had these big dreams of going to the big city and chasing cars and hanging out with highway bullies. Though Uncle Chester had not made it big and had to come back to Harding Lane his stories were as enchanting as fairytales and closer to reality. Bruno never liked Chester telling the boys his wild stories about the big bad world because Chester never told the boys how bewildering and deluding city ride can be and that not all of their fellow canines get to wag their tongues out of those car windows. But Spotty did not bother much as he loved day dreaming about the city with a beach and bright lights and endless possibilities for life.

Few days after Spotty completed eighteen dog years and had lived on the lane for one year and seven months, he with his park friends had stayed back for a little longer than usual at the park racing each other. Now that they were officially adults they did not care about the staying out late nor did their mothers on most of the days. Bling got tired and went for a drink after a little while there was a loud shout and Spotty as a lightning bolt jumped the gate and got out on the road where Bling was standing and he understood it was not a hurtful shout but that full of excitement. There it was standing on the side of the road the orange monster with his big light bulb eyes and humungous snout which made noises like grunts when it was gearing up to run they knew it was called a Truck and where they are from was courtesy Uncle Chester, he had also told them that there were many of these on the city roads and in the bravest of the lane Uncle chester the hero had rode on the monster to the city. Though uncle Chester forgot to tell these youngsters how dangerous they were when awake and running and how many of their kind were trampled to death by these monsters.
Spotty couldn’t help but stare at the truck all he could think was about the life if he just dares once and takes the leap of faith. Bling and others were meekly standing far and were ready in the sprinting position waiting for any sign of life. But spotty was mesmerized and was just planning his future life. Suddenly there was a flicker of light in the eyes, and then a blood rush; Bling watched with an open mouth as he saw Spotty get on the back of the monster and they ran to the lane.